Schizophobia
by Problem-Sleuth-95
Summary: Bonehead kills the wrong person and ends up being put in a mental hospital. On one of his first days, he notices his rival, Nine-Toes, is also a patient at the hospital. He becomes afraid of his issues and doesn't know how to cope. BoneheadXNine-Toes.
1. Chapter 1 The Admission

Bonehead's POV  
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It was midnight. All I remember clearly is looking at the clock. I glanced at the bloody mutilated corpse on the ground. Had I really done that? It was all a blur now, and I had to run. I quickly grabbed my gun and took off, leaving the body out in the open, so that anyone who walked by would be appalled. I suddenly heard people running behind me and I ran faster. My lungs burned and I was gasping for air, but I kept going. I couldn't turn around and fire at them, couldn't risk dying. "Look what you've done now." He said. "You'd better apologize..." "But you're the one who told me to kill her!" I thought to myself, hoping someone would finally respond, but there was no answer, and I fell to the ground and passed out. It was happening again...

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When I woke up, I had no idea where I was. I was laying in bed. But the linens were... Bright white? There's no way this was my home. I was also dressed in strange clothes, almost like a long white robe. "Hello." Someone said cheerfully from across the room. "Just waking up? I bet you have a horrible headache. Don't worry honey, it'll go away in time..." I looked up and a woman dressed in white was standing in front of me. She had a cup of water in one hand, and a small plastic container in the other. "W- Where... am I?" I asked. "This is the Jakobs Cove Psychiatric Institute." "How did I g-" I paused. It was all starting to sink in. I had killed that bitch, and those Vault Hunters came after me... When I passed out, they must've brought me here. "SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed loudly. "Let me the fuck out of here!" "Honey, everything's going to be ok... Here, take your medication." She handed me the small plastic container and the cup of water. I looked inside and there were two small yellow pills. "Seroquel." She said. "It should help your anxiety." She turned to walk out, but I stopped her. "Wait!" I said. She turned back around. "Yes?" "What's your name?" "Alicia. What about yours?" "My name is Bernard..."

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	2. Chapter 2 The Meeting

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I had taken the medication, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up. I had never been so relaxed in my life. I felt strange, like I was detached from reality. I could feel myself going into a trance, like I had been lately, but a voice brought me back to reality. "Do you feel better?" I looked up. It was Alicia again. "Uh, yeah..." I said. "I'm a lot more relaxed." "Good." She said, and turned and went behind the desk. This was the first time I had noticed anything in the room. I looked around, carefully examining everything. There were six rooms with beds, desks, and chairs in them, but they were all empty. The walls were bright white, and I was sitting by a door that lead off to a hallway, presumably leading to other units. I stood up and almost fell back into my chair. "Honey, be careful!" said Alicia. "The medication I gave you will make you very... Uh... How do I say this... Loose." She laughed and reached in a drawer in the desk and then came out from behind it with my regular clothes, except they were immaculate. Not a spot of dirt on them. She handed them to me. "Why don't you go to your room and change into these?" She said. "It's right over there." She pointed to the room closest to the door. I walked into my room and closed the door. I took off the long white robe and put my shirt and pants on, and then pulled my boots on. I noticed they went on easier than usual and looked down. My shoe laces were gone. I went back out into the main room and looked at Alicia. "Um..." I said. "What is it?" She asked. "Why did you take my shoe laces?" "This is a mental hospital. We don't want you trying to harm yourself." "Uh, ok..." I said. "So, uh... What do I do now?" "Hmm... Why don't you go to the community room and meet the other patients in this unit?" "Ok..." I said. "It's down the hall to the left."

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I walked into the community room and looked around. There was one table where a young woman sat alone, shaking and talking to herself. There was another table where three men sat silently. It almost looked like they were in a daze. And at one table sat... Nine-Toes? What the hell was he doing here? I looked away quickly, so he didn't notice me, but I had stared long enough to realize that the only empty seat in the room was at his table. "Damn it!" I said to myself quietly. I slowly walked over to the table and looked at him. He was silent and motionless. "H- Hi..." I said. He jumped suddenly, as if he was surprised by my hesitant greeting, and looked up. "Well, well, well;" He said. "If it isn't my old rival!" I looked down. "W- Would you mind if I sat here?" "Why not?" He said. "I've been waiting for someone weak to come here, I needed someone to abuse and take my anger out on! The thing is, I didn't expect the lucky bastard to be YOU! Hahaha! You, of all people!" "Yeah..." I said quietly, hoping he'd stop. "So..." He said. "What did you do to get here? Sacrifice too many people in those weird black magic ceremonies you do?" "No." I said. "Wait, wait! Give me another guess! You... Ate your father this time?" He said and burst out laughing. "I've never seen someone so open about be a cannibalistic freak! I don't understand what made you go so crazy! Sledge gave you a good job, or "purpose" I should say... To be abused by me!" He burst out laughing again. I looked down again, and he became quiet and looked at me. "Aww..." He said. "Did I hurt your feelings? That's too bad, because I meant every word I said!" "Yeah?" I said and looked up at him. "Well, you wanna know what I have to say to you?" He laughed. "Sure. It can't be any worse than what I just said to you." "Oh, it is." I said. "Well, spit it out!" "Nothing you say to me is going to worsen my mental state. It's already as bad as it can be." "I doubt it." He said. "You won't break me." He smiled. "We'll see about that..."


	3. Chapter 3 The First Impression

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Later that night, I was back in my room, thinking about the conversation I had had with Nine-Toes. "Why does he always want to abuse me?" I thought to myself. "Maybe he realizes what a mess he's gotten himself into and has to come down on others to make himself feel better?" Then I remembered my situation. I wasn't coming down on anyone but myself, but I sure had gotten myself into a mess. I didn't remember much from the night before besides the blood and her screaming, and the pain of her digging her nails into my arm. That bitch deserved every bit of what she got. At least I thought that, anyway... Alicia walked into my room. "The director told me to give this to you." She said, and handed me a pamphlet. "Read it. It'll explain everything about the hospital and the groups you'll be going to during your stay here." She turned and walked out. I flipped through the pamphlet and found the section on groups. It read: "There are two hour long groups every day, one at 10 AM and one at 4 PM. Patients will also have a one-on-one counseling session with one of our experienced therapists each day." "Experienced, huh?" I thought to myself. "No therapist has ever been experienced enough to handle me..." I sighed, placed the pamphlet on my desk and looked up at the clock in my room. "Ten o' clock?" I thought to myself. "I better get some sleep..."

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The next day, Alicia woke me up. "Bernard, wake up." She said as she shook me lightly. I sat up in bed and looked at her. "Huh?" She laughed and I looked up at the clock. Nine in the morning. "I woke you up early so you could take a shower. You must feel dirty after all you've been through. The bathroom is over there." She pointed across the main room and there was a small bathroom with a shower stall. "Uh, thanks..." I said as she turned and exited my room. I got up, walked across the main room into the bathroom, and closed the door behind me.

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Later, after I had showered, it was time for my first group of the day. I had become anxious, and was scratching my arm, which I always do when I get nervous, but this was so bad it was beginning to hurt. I walked to the group room and slowly opened the door. The therapist got up from his chair. "Hello." He said. "I'm Tom." He reached out and I shook his hand. I looked past him for a split second. Only then did I realize Nine-Toes was in the room. "Sit down, we're ready to begin." Tom said as he dragged a chair over for me. I sat down, noticing that I was seated directly across from Nine-Toes. I didn't realize I was staring at him until a few moments later when he gave me a dirty look and said "What the fuck are you looking at?" "Now, now..." Tom said. "You should know by now that foul language is not permitted in group." A young man with a Bandit Raider's mask on looked up from what seemed like a trance and said, "Well then, Tom, when IS foul language permitted?" Everyone laughed but me, and Tom said "When you leave the hospital." "Yeah, but you know we're just gonna do it anyway." Nine-Toes said as he looked down. "Yes, and for that you will be reprimanded." Everyone was silent. "Now..." Tom said. "Are we ready to start the group?" The room remained quiet. "I'll take that as a "yes"... Now, today, we are going to introduce ourselves to our new member, Bernard. Intros consist of your name, age, and why you are here. Who will go first?" No one raised their hand or said anything and Tom pointed to Nine-Toes. "Why don't you start first?" "Ok." He said. "My name is Nine-Toes, I'm twenty-five, and I'm here for depression." I looked at him. "Well, what else do you want from me? A life story?" I quickly looked away. The person to the right of Nine-Toes looked at me. "My name is Gavin, I'm twenty, and I'm here because I tried to kill myself... Twelve times." Tom cleared his throat and said "And might I remind you all that killing yourself is bad." "Hehe, I'm actually quite proud of my record, especially that time I tried blowing my head off with the Eridian Mercurial Blaster." He sighed. "Those were some good times..." Tom looked up. "Uh, anyway, moving on..." The person to the right of Gavin spoke. "My name is Jeff, I'm eighteen, and I'm here for trying to kill my ex girlfriend by injecting her with ricin in her sleep." Then, the person to the right of Jeff spoke, the same young woman I had seen in the community room the night before. "My name is Leah, I'm seventeen, and I'm here for self harm." "What did you use to cut yourself?" Gavin asked her, looking at the raised, discolored scars on her arms. "A ceramic knife. They all needed stitches. Why?" "Just because." He said and smiled. Tom looked at me. "It's my turn." He said, and cleared his throat. "My name is Tom, I'm thirty-eight, and I'm your group counselor." "Wait, wait, wait!" Said Nine-Toes. "You have no issue?" Everyone laughed, and Gavin said "Yeah Tom, tell us your issue! What is it? Drugs? Self harm? Homicidal ideation?" "Well..." Tom said and smiled. "I have a problem with helping people." "Geez!" Said Nine-Toes. "I'll be damned if THAT wasn't the worst frickin' joke I've ever heard!" Everyone laughed and Tom looked at me and said "It's your turn, Bernard." "Oh." I said. "My name is Bernard, I'm twenty-five, and I'm here for-" Nine-Toes cut me off. "Everyone knows why you're here, Bernard." He said, and smiled evilly. I was silent, scared of what he'd say next. "Hm? Why's that?" Tom asked him. "Because Bernard is the most sick minded, hateful, heartless, psychopathic bastard ever to live on Pandora." "Is he worse than the director of this hospital, who, might I add, created zombies?" Asked Gavin. "Yes, he is." Said Nine-Toes. "He ate his own mother." He then looked up and smiled at me. "That's enough." Tom said as he looked at his watch. "Group is over anyway. Andrea will be expecting you here at four." I stood up and walked out into the hallway, and Nine-Toes followed me. I walked down the hallway with him still following, and when we were far enough away from the group room, he grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall. He came so close our faces were almost touching, and said "Don't act like what I said didn't bother you. These freaks are so gullible; they'll believe anything you tell 'em, even if they know there are factual errors. I forced you to have a bad first impression. With the way everything's going now, they'll hate you in no time!" He laughed, backed away a little, and said "Good luck trying to stop me." I just stood there and watched him walk away, starting to scratch my arm... My anxiety was setting in again.

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	4. Chapter 4 The Incident

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After Nine-Toes was gone, I got up and walked back to my unit. When I got there, all the rooms were empty, and Alicia was behind the desk. "Oh." She said. "Everyone went down to the cafeteria for lunch. The cafeteria is down the hall, across from the community room." "Ok." I said and walked out of the main room into the hallway. I walked down the hallway and into the room across from the community room. I looked across the room and there were people in line getting food. I decided not to eat, since whatever they were serving looked disgusting. As I was looking around for an empty seat, I heard a voice from behind me. "Hey, Bernard, come over here for a second!" I turned around. It was Gavin, sitting with Leah and Jeff. I hesitated for a moment, but then walked over to their table. "What is it?" I asked. Jeff laughed and said "Is it true that you ate your mother?" Before I could answer, Leah said "That must've been disgusting, as ugly as she was." "How do you know she was ugly?" I asked her. She laughed and said "Well, with how you look, you couldnt've been conceived by anyone even relatively good looking." Leah, Gavin, and Jeff laughed and I just walked away, still looking for an empty seat. I scanned the cafeteria and noticed that once again, the only empty seat was at Nine-Toes's table. I was reluctant, but I eventually walked over to his table and sat down. "Why'd you do that to me?" I asked angrily. "Now everyone else in the group thinks I'm a heartless monster!" He looked up at me. "You told me I couldn't break you." He said. "Don't you realize that telling someone they can't do something just makes them want to do it more?" "You know Nine-Toes..." I said. "Being a Bandit Lord, I expected you to have at least a little decency." "Obviously you're not a true Bandit." He said. "Bandits are ruthless Bastards that kill without hesitation. Being a Bandit Lord is just like being a Bandit, except you have more power and an endless supply of men that are willing to fight for you, rather than risk the chance of you dying." "All you care about is not dying?" I asked him. "Of course. If I died, who would command the Bandits around Fyrestone and Skag Gully?" I smiled. "There would still be me." "Yeah;" He said. "But you're a rookie. You couldn't command Bandits like I can." "Yeah, whatever..." I said, and stared out the window. "You know, Bernard, I actually liked you when I first met you. I don't know what happened between us, but our hatred for one another is no fault of my own. Any animosity in this situation is coming from your side." I kept staring out the window and said nothing. "In fact, if it wasn't for your arrogance and how pompous you are, I bet we would've been good friends." I looked up at him angrily and said "If you would've never accepted that damn challenge issued by Sledge, none of this would've ever happened." I got up and went to walk away, but I heard him call my name from behind me, and I stopped and turned around. "What?" I asked him. "I wish we could still be friends..." I just turned and walked away. He wasn't worth my time.

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Later, back at the unit we had a good three hours of free time before the next group. I was sitting in my room, thinking about what Nine-Toes said to me, when Alicia walked in. "Hey, Bernard?" "Yes?" I asked. "Since we have free time, do you want to have some social time with the other patients? Usually when we have free time before groups, we all go into the main room where the tables are and pick someone to talk to until group time comes." "Ok." I said and walked out into the main room, where everyone else was already seated with their partner. Jeff sat with Gavin, and Alicia went over and sat with Leah, and the only empty seat in the room was at Nine-Toes's table. I walked over and sat down, all while bracing myself for anything that would come out of his mouth. "Hehe, you again?" Said Nine-Toes. "What's wrong? No one wants to sit with you?" "Yep, the same problem you have." I said and smirked. "Have you ever thought that I just prefer to sit by myself?" He said. "I enjoy the peace and quiet. Geez, don't be so judgmental, Bernard, it'll save other people a lot of time that would be spent explaining." "Yeah..." I said. "Besides Bernard..." He said spitefully. "The explanations probably wouldn't even register with you, since your brain is only about the size of a peanut." He smiled evilly, and I looked up at him and said "Yeah, and you know what's smaller than my brain?" "What's that?" He asked. "Your male parts." He laughed. "You know what's even smaller than my male parts?" "What?" "YOUR male parts!" At this remark he burst out laughing, attracting Alicia's attention. "What are you guys laughing about?" "Hehe, the fact that his balls are as big as marbles!" Nine-Toes replied. "Are they really?" Asked Leah as she turned around in her seat. "Yes, they are!" Everyone laughed and I looked at him, smirked, and said "Yeah, remember that time you saw me naked?" "Huh? What?" Said Nine-Toes. It seemed as if he was at a loss for words. "You don't remember?" I asked him. "It was in the shower at my house, and I'm not going to mention what happened next, but all I'm going to say is you really, _really_ liked it." Alicia laughed. "Oh, would you guys stop?" She asked. "You guys are bickering like a married couple!" I looked over at Nine-Toes and noticed he was blushing and he was staring at the floor. "Uh I... I've gotta go..." He said as he quickly stood up and ran off. Everyone resumed talking, but I ran out after him, determined to bring his self esteem to the ground; once we were alone, that is.

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	5. Chapter 5 The Confession

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Nine-Toes would have excelled in track and field had he gone to high school, because by the time I got into the hallway, he was already gone. I searched the cafeteria and community room, but he was nowhere to be found. I walked through the front double doors and into the courtyard. I scanned the area and saw Nine-Toes sitting in the gazebo, staring at the sun. I walked over to him and he looked at me, tears running down his face. "How does it feel?" I asked him. "Oh, Bernard..." He said through tears. "What you said..." "It hurts, doesn't it?" "Bernard... You don't know how bad I want it to be true..." "Hm?" I became confused. "Want what to be true?" "Bernard..." He stood up and came closer, so close our faces were almost touching and said "I can't believe how long I've been hiding this..." "Hiding what?" I asked him. "Bernard... Even though we're constantly fighting, I care about you deeply and I know I've told you before that I wouldn't care if you died, but Bernard, I... I..." He sat down and buried his head in his hands. "I just wish I would've told you sooner, when we had no grudges to hold against each other..." "I don't understand what you're trying to say." I said to him, bracing myself for whatever was to come. "Bernard, I... I... I love you..." At this remark, he stood up and looked me in the eyes. "And I'm so sorry for all the terrible things I've done to you... I figured if I treated you like shit in front of Sledge and you took it, it would make it look like I hated you, and it would also get me elected Sledge's right hand man, allowing me to control you..." I was silent. "You always were the weak one, the one that would never hurt anyone for no reason, and who would always take responsibility for their actions... Me? I was the ruthless, angry bastard who would kill without hesitation and that was so arrogant, I would never assume responsibility for any of the atrocities I commited while working for Sledge. I was always Sledge's favorite, and do you know why that is, Bernard?" "Why?" I asked him. "Because I'm cold and emotionless. Nothing phases me anymore. I've been desensitized by my Bandit lifestyle... But you, Bernard, you still have emotions, you have a good heart, and that's why Sledge considers you weak. In order to be a Bandit, you have to be a heartless monster with no emotions. But I love you because you have a good heart, and you're not pompous or arrogant. If something goes wrong because of something you did, you take responsibility and fix it, and there's just something sexy about that to me." I looked up at him. "Well, to be honest, I'm at a loss for words... I didn't expect anything like this to ever come from you... I don't know what to say." "Do you feel the same way about me as I feel about you?" I looked up at him, smiled, and said "I never thought about dating you, but I would give our relationship a chance." He smiled and leaned in to kiss me, but we were interrupted by a blood curdling scream from the community room. Nine-Toes gasped and looked like he was going to pass out. "C- Could it be them again?" He asked me. "Who?" I asked frantically. "I- It's... It's..." He then took off running into the woods, and I followed.

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	6. Chapter 6 The Final Battle

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A good ways into the woods, I grabbed him, turned him around, and said "Who is it? Who's coming?" "Th- The... The zombies... Th- This has happened once before and I almost got bit by one of them..." I thought for a moment, looked at him and said "We have to go back." "WHAT?" He said. "WHY?" "You just want to let everyone in the hospital die?" I said. "Well, I figured we could just run off and start a new life together..." He blushed and looked down. "If you want to stay here, I promise I'll come back for you." "N- No..." He said. "I have to help you. If you died, I'd have nothing left... I would probably end it." "Ok." I said. "But we have to be careful. And we have no weapons. We're going to have to use whatever's availabe." He nodded and we both began running back to the hospital.

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When we got there, the entire premisis was riddled with zombies. Nine-Toes and I hid in some bushes, and I looked at him. "Let's go inside." I whispered, and he nodded. We both ran for the door. We were almost at the entrance, when a Suicide Zombie stepped in front of us. We froze in place and he came towards us slowly, holding his barrel above his head. I looked around for something to throw at him, and found a medium sized flower pot. "I'm not sure if this will work..." I thought to myself as I threw it at him. The flower pot hit his barrel, making it explode, and blowing his body into chunks. Blood sprayed onto my clothes, and onto Nine-Toes's face. He screamed and backed up, and I ran to him. "It's ok." I said. "He won't hurt us." I used the clean part of my shirt to wipe the blood off of his face, and I took his hand. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you." The zombies had spotted us and were coming closer, so we quickly ran inside the hospital.

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Once we were inside, we started looking for weapons. Nine-Toes pulled a curtain rod off the wall and broke it in half so the end was pointed and sharp, and I found a plastic knife from the kitchen, which I sharpened into a shank on the tiled floor. "Where do we go?" Nine-Toes asked me. "Let's go check the community room first." I said. We walked to the community room and looked inside. There were dead bodies everywhere, and the room smelled horrible. "Let's go to our unit next." I said. We walked down the hall to our unit and walked inside. Nine-Toes gasped and pointed to the floor. Alicia, Leah, Gavin, and Jeff were all dead on the floor, their heads chewed open, leaking fluids on the blood stained carpet. I grabbed Nine-Toes's hand and we turned to walk out, but I heard a noise from behind us. "Going somewhere?" A voice said. We turned around. There stood Dr. Ned, the director of the hospital, and the bastard who created the zombies. "You bastard." I said angrily. "Look at what you've done. These people were innocent, and you've taken their lives." "Innocent?" He said and laughed. "They were psychopaths. One attempted to harm someone else. The others attempted to harm themselves. There's nothing innocent about a person with acute psychosis." "That's what you think." I said. "That's what I _know_." He said. "Let's take your boyfriend, for instance. A desensitized, cold hearted, sick minded bastard who kills without hesitation and who is angry at the world. Do you still think he's innocent? After all the people he's killed?" I gave Ned a dirty look. "He may not be innocent, but he means everything to me, and I can't lose him." "Hmph. That's too bad." Said Dr. Ned. "I've been waiting to brutally murder him since I first heard he was terrorizing Fyrestone and Skag Gully." "Well, you're going to have to get through me first." I said. "Hehe, no problem." Said Ned as he picked up a wooden chair and broke a leg off of it. "Let's go." He came closer and I slashed at him with my knife but he hit me in the head with his makeshift club and i fell back. I quickly regained my balance and slashed at Ned again, this time cutting his shoulder. "Damn it!" He said and jumped back. He came towards me again, but slower this time, and I backed up against the wall. He quickly pushed his club sideways into my neck, trying to hold me against the wall and suffocate me. I had almost no mobility, and the room was getting darker and darker. Suddenly, blood sprayed on my face, and Ned fell to the ground. I fell to my knees and looked at Ned, Nine-Toes's curtain rod peircing his juggular and coming out on the other side of his neck. "Are you ok?" Nine-Toes asked me and helped me up. "Y- Yeah, I'm fine..." I looked up at the window and saw that the sky was getting darker. The sun always did set early in Jakobs Cove.

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	7. Epilogue

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Nine-Toes and I stood in the gazebo, watching the sun set. He came over to me, looked at me, and took both my hands in his. "You know..." He said. "I figured you wouldn't like me anymore, after everything Dr. Ned said..." I looked him in the eyes. "You know Dr. Ned is miserable, don't you?" I asked him. "Well, yes..." He said. "Well, I'll quote the incredibly well known saying... Misery loves company." He laughed and smiled at me. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know why I still call him Dr. Ned. He's obviously Dr. Zed with a fake moustache." We both laughed. "Do you still want to..." "Want to what?" I asked. "Uh, you know..." "No, I don't know." I said and laughed. "Do you still want to... Kiss me?" He said. We were both silent for a moment, but then I looked him in the eyes. "I thought you'd never ask." He kissed me. It was the best thing I've ever felt. I had never been so happy. He backed up and looked at me. His face was dark red. "Let's go find a New-U Station." He said. "We need to fast travel out of here before anything else happens. He started to walk off, but I stayed behind. When he realized I wasn't following him, he turned and looked at me. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." I said, and ran to him. "I just figured we could get a little more... Intimate?" He laughed and said "Let's get home first." and we walked off into the sunset.

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End file.
